I have been a lot confused lately as to whether I’m Broke or Broken! Broke as in minus money and broken as in minus money and emotions.

Of course, I’ve watched the drama in “2 Broke Girls”.But what I feel is nothing like it.I  know I’m broke when even a lunch at the lousy chain restaurant at the mall is out of my financial reach.I know I’m broken too,not only am I struggling with an insane amount of stress from work right now, but I am facing emotional and mental breakdowns too. I’m burning out quickly and there’s no relief in sight.

The point is which side is heavier broke or broken?

I see every other day, people of my age group are getting married, going on lavish honeymoons, celebrating marriage anniversaries,naming their babies! To sum up, they’re all settled……

when I get to the root of it, I see they’re all gold-diggers.they find someone rich to fulfill all their dreams and aspirations.I can’t tell if that’s wrong! but it certainly doesn’t feel right to me.

But in order to be able to pay my own  bills and get my own S class, 5 series, a mini cooper and an evoque (for that much, I guess I need to probably change my sirname to Ambani or Birla):p, I need to be independent and ambitious,not a gold digger! Although I do not see it happening and it kills me every time to realize how much I’ve missed out on!  I am independent,but then people do not like it! I have values and principles,people call it my tantrums.

I’m both emotionally and financially challenged.when I say so, it means my 6 years of being on my own, away from home! and what do I have?  nothing……

I haven’t lost all hopes,but I’m exhausted. I literally need that one person to keep faith in me and get me going.

I do not even know if this post makes sense.

It’s just not my time!

Rest of you, Live Love Laugh Read!




Seeking Respite!

It’s again that phase where I have started to have conflicts with my inner self and the people around me. People seem to judge everyone everyday based on a limited perception that they have about a person and feel that they know everything.

“Everyone seems to know me,but me!” People keep claiming that they know something or the other about me which i’m still trying to discover!

Everybody does it. The vast majority don’t even understand that they are doing it. Judging. Everybody needs to discover something awful around a man to improve their feelings about themselves.

However, consider the possibility that they heard what you were thinking or saying. How might they feel? Would you say it to their face? Presumably not.

In all actuality, a large portion of our judgements are erroneous in any case. Somebody may have the best bitch-face on the planet, yet they end up being a truly pleasant individual. Somebody may dress uncovering and you may think they are a skank or are simple, when they would be the inverse.In fact,everything that we presume might turn the other way round.

I so want to have a simple world!  We shouldn’t just agree with our judgments because if we did, we wouldn’t try to get to know that person. We’d tell our opinion of that person to others without ever really getting to know who we’re talking about.

We weren’t made to survive, we weren’t made to put up with the pain, we were made to create and rule our own lives and not be controlled by others!

Some may say “you are young, you have so much ahead of you, you don’t need a relationship,” well they are wrong too. Without relationships we wouldn’t exist, some of us created by young people such as ourselves, some were left until later, but STILL relationships are the foundations of us. So who are they to say we are too young or too naive to crave something so rare; so beautiful; so desirable as love?! However…they are partly right too, we don’t NEED a relationship, it’s just a guilty desire of us all as humans, some may choose to admit it, some hide it but as long as you are breathing you want it too!

Falling for someone isn’t a weakness, it’s the beginning of an evolving strength, being able to trust someone and be able to share everything with that person is truly amazing!!

Don’t choose someone who is okay, choose the one who is exceptional just like you are!

I don’t hate everybody,it’s just that I don’t like them in particular as well.I’ll blow a kiss,definitely fire a gun but do not need anyone to lean on.

Know why?? they will never cease to disappoint.

That’s just my story, yours might be different.If I am irritated with everyone doesn’t mean that everyone feels the same. Some people live to please others and spend their entire lives creating a good impression or be in somebody’s good books.I know such people as well and I don’t judge them for it instead I try to understand them.But I have certain limits too.When the personality starts to go beyond my understanding I stop understanding.

I am not in the best of my mood so that may be the reason why I am writing such depressing stuff.I try finding the silver lining but all I see is darkness.Sheer nothingness.

I hope it gets over too soon.sooner than I realize it. 🙂

Seek Respite,Seek change,Be the change!

Live Love Laugh Read!


Is Mr. Grey the Real Mr.Perfect a woman seeks?


“Why does he have such an unnerving effect on me? His over-whelming good looks maybe? The way his eyes blaze at me? The way he strokes his index finger against his lower lip? I wish he’d stop doing that.”

All of us have felt this way or the other for someone at some place and some time.We just were too shy to admit it or should I say hesitant because of the prevailing cultural setup.

The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy has come out as a phenomena and E.L James has forced people to ponder over Love Lust and everything that comes in when you find “The One”. The story presents  that women should never be comfortable offering their bodies to a man that makes it clear he is emotionally incapable of love and perfectly willing to implement capital punishment for eye rolling. Grey is a quintessential predator, Ana his prey, and the plot insinuates that, for the sake of eroticism, this is acceptable.

We have always fantasized about who a Mr./Ms. Perfect would be for us based upon our own expectations,perceptions,beliefs,values and culture.Here’s why We girls simply love Mr.Grey:

1. Beacuse He is everything one desires!


2. Who wouldn’t want to hear that?


3. Imagine waking up to such words ❤


4. Because he can take you down even with his words.


5. Because you are on top of his list!


6. And not to forget those “love drenched” e-mails and text messages who he hasn’t done for anyone before!

7. Last but never the least, the way he postpones saying “Laters Baby!”

Now, turning back to what I seek for in a man!

Well,the list is quite too long I believe,but here it goes:

  • Someone who prefers to hang out in an upscale coffee shop than to go clubbing and hitting back shots.
  • Loyalty and Faithfulness should be his middle names!
  • Someone whom I can have intelligent arguments with and stimulate my brain. 😉
  • I seek a man who I can learn a lot of good things from.
  • He, who finds me worthy of sharing his emotions,feelings, past and future plans with. 🙂
  • The one who tells me things exactly the way they are! NO FABRICATION! (I want transparency)
  • He, who is more interested in the latest literary novel than in what the Jersey Shore kids are up to on television.
  • Someone who has an updated General Knowledge.(personal encyclopedia)
  • Who has a crazy streak but acts matured under the required circumstances.
  • Someone who will be my best friend, a partner and an equal.
  • That somebody who makes me feel good!
  • Who makes me laugh at any cost and tells me that I’m pretty and how important this one smile is for him.
  • Someone who can prioritize his job, family, friends and a relationship.
  • Who shows me that I am an essential part of his life.
  • The one who values his parents and has respect for the elderly.
  • Somebody who isn’t much social. Even if he is, I won’t interfere with his personal space until he makes everything clear.
  • That person who feels a bit awkward while talking to other girls.
  • Someone who’s totally dedicated and doesn’t give out any wrong signals to other females. (do that when you’re single,not while with me!)
  • Who doesn’t change for anything or anyone.
  • The one who is man enough to vouch for his actions,even mistakes or betrayal for that matter.
  • Somebody who cares for me genuinely and never shows off.
  • The one who wakes me up and puts me to sleep with nothing but cute messages.(way too girly) 😉
  • Someone who is not a technology freak! knowledge is a good thing but addiction to technology ain’t.
  • Flirting is a strict “NO”. I know there’s a thin line between casual (healthy) flirting and harmful flirting.But I don’t care.

I should rather not be this harsh! 😉 Although it is next to impossible to find all these traits in the same person. If I think this way,the guys might think too. I still am in the learning phase where I am exploring new avenues of life and also getting to know people,who knows the list might lose significance or things might get added in it!Hence we should always wait for that “click” to happen which is nothing but a realization that you’ve finally found someone,somebody you belong with! 🙂


Live Love Laugh Read