“Disappointed” is the new Relationship Status!

How often have you found yourself cribbing over petty issues and then claim that you’re always disappointed? and then you’ll hear people say “expectation is the root cause of disappointment” all around you,without failing to mention that they care for us.

Then you’ll dive into the ocean of intellect,a few realizations will dawn upon you.Too often we think the role of a boyfriend or girlfriend is to make us happy and complete our life.Think about it, do you really think you deserve to fuck up your mind just to have someone who cares for you!

Hell, NO! those who care will always do no matter what, those who don’t will keep pretending!

In a relationship, you cannot be the puppeteer. People have their own emotions, behaviors, actions, beliefs, scars, wounds, fears, dreams, and perspectives. They are their own person.

How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it is not?

How many times have you said a certain word or phrase in order to spark a specific reaction?

How much do you expect from this person? Do they fail you each and every time?

In a relationship, there are certain expectations, like being treated well or being respected. Yet sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that don’t mirror what we anticipate to happen. We may feel hurt or used.

Maximum emotions and reactions are based on “how could you?”, “Why did you not?” “Don’t leave me alone” “Don’t go here”, “why did you do this?”, “why can’t you do this?”

Sometimes you guide the other person by saying so, but maximum times you control! Everyone has a life, they do no want to be controlled.They will do whatever, anyway anyhow however!

We cannot expect other people to treat us as we would treat them. We cannot assume anything or force change upon someone who clearly demonstrates he or she is stuck in his or her own way.

Some people associate disappointment with fear of harm or deprivation, though the more common linkage is with fear of isolation, i.e., disappointment threatens to make them feel unlovable: “No one will understand me,” or, “No one will care.”

Just as frequently in love relationships, disappointment is associated with the shame of inadequacy, a sense of failure, particularly as a protector, lover, or provider.

Think about it, do you really think you deserve to fuck up your mind just to have someone who cares for you!

Hell, NO! those who care will always do no matter what, those who don’t will keep pretending!

If you are self-sufficient,you don’t need to expect anything. Work on that!

Drink Wine and Enjoy your life,even if alone!

 

Live Love Laugh Read!!

🙂

 

What it feels like to be yourself!!

So what have you achieved so far by being yourself?

Here are a few laurels you might have embraced by now

  • Being taken for granted
  • Being cornered out  (because being pretentious is the new cool)
  • Being bitched about (because you are upfront)
  • Being Broke (because you either have a bad time or too many values)
  • Being Betrayed (because you were too cool as a partner. You never asked and he never told!)
  • Being numb at even the most critical situations.

Now your perception will force you to see the positive in a pool of negatives,which is cool.

But you know what you are missing out on? LIFE!!!

There are certain things which are by default in this world and it is better for us to acquaint ourselves with  them at the earliest.My observations say:

  1. If you have friends,keep them,meet them.If not, make them.It’s healthy.
  2. Parents are a priority.Don’t let them down.Cherish them.
  3. If you have a challenged relationship,move out.Cheating issues, move out.If you begin deleting your messages so that the other person doesn’t see them,Totally move out! If you discover (as he would never ever tell you on his own, you have to find out) your spouse random flirting in parties or on social media.Trash the jerk into garbage and move on!
  4. Guys will be guys,They melt with boobs and booty! They will ogle and never admit.
  5. Being independent is extremely necessary.Being self-sufficient too.
  6. Always Save money!!!!
  7. Be kind,Also take nobody’s shit!
  8. Every girl in this world is after money and a handsome Super duper rich man to lean on! If you happen to meet an exception.Don’t give up on her.Keep her till eternity.
  9. Do not interfere too much.(Don’t be poky)
  10. Do judge,but don’t show!

Let’s not complicate too much.Let’s find out as to what exactly our problems are,so as to live peacefully.

Why would you want to be someone else
When you could be better by being yourself
Why pretend to be someone you are not
When you have something they haven’t got

Cheating yourself of the life you have to live
Deprives others of that only which you can give
You have much more to offer by being just you
Than walking around in someone else’s shoes

Trying to live the life of another is a mistake
It is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake
Be yourself and let your qualities show through
Others will love you more for being just you not who others want to see.


We are who we allow ourselves to become we get what we give, we give what we get so give it your all and don’t ever give up.Be the best you be the person you want to be just remember to be yourself.We are perfectly imperfect and beautiful within because beauty isn’t skin deep,it’s deeper than the skin.

This day is yours it belongs to no one but you put one foot in front of the other and take a step closer to making all your dreams come true

You are perfectly imperfect and this is okay because no one is flawless, no one is perfectly made

You are beautiful within and your smile reflects the love inside your heart
So, share a grin and let others see who you are

Be the best you,just be who you are inside
be the person that makes you happy and live your best life.

LIVE LOVE LAUGH READ

🙂

Cheers!

Say it if it’s worth saving me!

All of us have embraced depression at some point or the other in our lives.The sudden peaks and lows of mood,the desire to be left alone,yet want someone to care,unnecessary overthinking, too much caring,sudden fits of rage and inexplicable desire to cry and shout out loud,a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.

These are a few feelings to mention.One remains under a constant state of turmoil thereby experiencing self-suppression.

I hate to say it but I have been feeling every single thing lately.I am falling apart every moment. I feel that even I am not able to understand myself

I know something somewhere is wrong,but I don’t know how to fix it.

I can so relate to Nickelback right now!
Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawling
Oh, I reach for you

Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m calling
And all I scream for you
Hurry I’m falling.

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
And say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m falling
And all I see is you

These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And all I scream for you
Come please I’m calling

And all I need from you
Hurry I’m falling

And all I need is you
Come please I’m calling
And all I scream for you
Hurry I’m falling

Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me!!

If you ever feel this way, go up to your loved ones and to those who care for you,talk about it and you’ll for sure be healed.
Remember to Live Love Laugh Read,it might help too!
🙂

Does True Love Exist for Real?

truelove28429

I have asked myself this question over and over again yet I have not gotten a satisfactory answer. Being an avid reader, I have come across many forms of expressions that provide love with a definition by various individuals but I wasn’t convinced.

Heard Pink’s track “Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face
There’s no one quite like you
You push all my buttons down
I know life would suck without you”

But naah, I didn’t get any answers. I have grown up knowing that true love is pure,loyal and eternal. I have always been inspired by the 19th century novels where people reflected intricate and sophisticated mannerisms. The talking with the eyes, writing letters, chivalry and so much more has always amused me.

But unfortunately I belong to this era where love has kind of lost it’s meaning,if there was any!  additionally, the culture surrounding the institution of marriage has drastically shifted. Marriage is no longer viewed as the highest priority or as a lasting union. It is no longer viewed as an essential step to adulthood, nor is it greatly valued.  With these changes in today’s culture, young adults have been allowed to give in to their fears of rejection, responsibility, and mistakes, leaving a generation failing to commit. As much as I hate to admit it, but I belong to the “hanging out” culture.Traditional dating is becoming a thing of the past.  Defining a date was not hard long ago: “Men and women went out together on a planned activity, in which most often the man initiated the date, picked the woman up, and paid for any expenses”.  It was a culture of courting.Dating to find a partner and then marrying him or her.

Instead of dating, our generation  has turned to “hanging out,” which is when mixed groups spend time together in a variety of settings.Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments. Today’s dating culture is characterized by a lack of commitment.

The fear of rejection is a reasonable fear that has characterized dating for generations. Psychologist Stephen W. Simpson  epitomized this fear with a humorous statement:

“Something scares you. It’s not terrorism, economic recession, global warming, or gasoline prices that could hit 10 bucks per gallon by the time you’re done reading this. These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: asking someone out on a date.”

The stereotypical young man of our parents’ generation worked to gather the courage to call a girl and ask her on a date. When he was finally confident enough to ask her out, he would dial her number and hang up several times before finally talking to the young lady. In today’s generation, it is no longer expected that a man must ask a woman out formally. Cell phones and other technology have allowed societal norms to change. Unlike traditional dates, there are rarely formal invitations when college students hang out. This helps to eliminate the possibility of being rejected.

I am back to Square One! my question remains unanswered. What is Love? and what is True Love?

what I perceive is that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” This verse describes the characteristics of true love. The problem with trying to “find” love in our dating lives, is that too often we don’t look for these characteristics. Rather we look at physical appearance, popularity, or wealth.

Love is best seen as devotion and action, not an emotion. Love is not exclusively based on how we feel. Certainly our emotions are involved, but they cannot be our only criteria for love.

Sex is not love! Our culture has taught us that sex and love are one in the same. This is a lie. Sex is a beautiful God-given activity that is wonderful when practiced within certain boundaries.It is the completion of the binding of two people within Biblical marriage; it is a God-given gift.Because sex is not love, it only leads to pain and disappointment for those who are seeking that love. The Bible says that when two people are married, they become one flesh. Sex is consummation of that union. When two people break off their relationship after having sex, it is like ripping apart flesh. This is why two teenagers will struggle so much and become so dependent on those they give their bodies to.

I am not advocating the culture here,I am only trying to say that though I agree it’s a personal choice but the choice shouldn’t be worth giving regrets. Be mature enough to bear the consequences of your choices and don’t blame it on to anyone.

SO WHAT’S THE MORAL?

I don’t like those type of questions much, they are too vague.
What answer do you expect? No one can decide this! For every culture, place and historic era “love” means something different, it is expressed in different ways. Leave aside “true love”.

To contribute with something from sociology – Erich Fromm was interested in what is “true love” in sense what is the “right love”. One of his basic ideas is that we either tend to “have” or to “be”.
Having is consuming, possessing, makes you less active in mind etc.
Being is, in his view, rather unselfish, living, enjoying, truly experiencing the reality.

The right way to love then is not “having” the other one, it is “being” with him/her and letting them be free as well.Love is what holds you together when life tears you apart. Love is amongst the few things in the world that makes life worth living. It is one of the most strongest emotion that a human being is capable of feeling. Love is when other person’s happiness, other person’s dreams, other person’s aspirations, other person’s problems become your own. There is no separation between you and the other person. Love is when you see someone’s face and instantly know what they are feeling. There is this telepathic connection that binds all the people that are in love. Love is the foundation of any happy relationship.

I think Robert Heinlein put it beautifully “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

It seems to be only rational thing left in the universe. True love is attachment without the need of possession. Love is that special feeling in your gut, love is when you can feel your own heart beating on the sight of your lover. Love is when you spend all you time thinking about that person. Love is when you will travel all over the globe just to get a glimpse of the person you love. Love is when you stare at your smartphone all day long hoping that the person that you love will send a message that says that the person is doing okay. True love is always selfless and does not demand reciprocation from the other person.

And I’ll tell you what, Live Love Laugh and Read as much as you can.:)

Happy July 🙂