I have been a lot confused lately as to whether I’m Broke or Broken! Broke as in minus money and broken as in minus money and emotions.

Of course, I’ve watched the drama in “2 Broke Girls”.But what I feel is nothing like it.I  know I’m broke when even a lunch at the lousy chain restaurant at the mall is out of my financial reach.I know I’m broken too,not only am I struggling with an insane amount of stress from work right now, but I am facing emotional and mental breakdowns too. I’m burning out quickly and there’s no relief in sight.

The point is which side is heavier broke or broken?

I see every other day, people of my age group are getting married, going on lavish honeymoons, celebrating marriage anniversaries,naming their babies! To sum up, they’re all settled……

when I get to the root of it, I see they’re all gold-diggers.they find someone rich to fulfill all their dreams and aspirations.I can’t tell if that’s wrong! but it certainly doesn’t feel right to me.

But in order to be able to pay my own  bills and get my own S class, 5 series, a mini cooper and an evoque (for that much, I guess I need to probably change my sirname to Ambani or Birla):p, I need to be independent and ambitious,not a gold digger! Although I do not see it happening and it kills me every time to realize how much I’ve missed out on!  I am independent,but then people do not like it! I have values and principles,people call it my tantrums.

I’m both emotionally and financially challenged.when I say so, it means my 6 years of being on my own, away from home! and what do I have?  nothing……

I haven’t lost all hopes,but I’m exhausted. I literally need that one person to keep faith in me and get me going.

I do not even know if this post makes sense.

It’s just not my time!

Rest of you, Live Love Laugh Read!




Seeking Respite!

It’s again that phase where I have started to have conflicts with my inner self and the people around me. People seem to judge everyone everyday based on a limited perception that they have about a person and feel that they know everything.

“Everyone seems to know me,but me!” People keep claiming that they know something or the other about me which i’m still trying to discover!

Everybody does it. The vast majority don’t even understand that they are doing it. Judging. Everybody needs to discover something awful around a man to improve their feelings about themselves.

However, consider the possibility that they heard what you were thinking or saying. How might they feel? Would you say it to their face? Presumably not.

In all actuality, a large portion of our judgements are erroneous in any case. Somebody may have the best bitch-face on the planet, yet they end up being a truly pleasant individual. Somebody may dress uncovering and you may think they are a skank or are simple, when they would be the inverse.In fact,everything that we presume might turn the other way round.

I so want to have a simple world!  We shouldn’t just agree with our judgments because if we did, we wouldn’t try to get to know that person. We’d tell our opinion of that person to others without ever really getting to know who we’re talking about.

We weren’t made to survive, we weren’t made to put up with the pain, we were made to create and rule our own lives and not be controlled by others!

Some may say “you are young, you have so much ahead of you, you don’t need a relationship,” well they are wrong too. Without relationships we wouldn’t exist, some of us created by young people such as ourselves, some were left until later, but STILL relationships are the foundations of us. So who are they to say we are too young or too naive to crave something so rare; so beautiful; so desirable as love?! However…they are partly right too, we don’t NEED a relationship, it’s just a guilty desire of us all as humans, some may choose to admit it, some hide it but as long as you are breathing you want it too!

Falling for someone isn’t a weakness, it’s the beginning of an evolving strength, being able to trust someone and be able to share everything with that person is truly amazing!!

Don’t choose someone who is okay, choose the one who is exceptional just like you are!

I don’t hate everybody,it’s just that I don’t like them in particular as well.I’ll blow a kiss,definitely fire a gun but do not need anyone to lean on.

Know why?? they will never cease to disappoint.

That’s just my story, yours might be different.If I am irritated with everyone doesn’t mean that everyone feels the same. Some people live to please others and spend their entire lives creating a good impression or be in somebody’s good books.I know such people as well and I don’t judge them for it instead I try to understand them.But I have certain limits too.When the personality starts to go beyond my understanding I stop understanding.

I am not in the best of my mood so that may be the reason why I am writing such depressing stuff.I try finding the silver lining but all I see is darkness.Sheer nothingness.

I hope it gets over too soon.sooner than I realize it. 🙂

Seek Respite,Seek change,Be the change!

Live Love Laugh Read!